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You Know Your A Band Geek When...
Band Geek, Band Nerd, Band Dork, Band Roady, WHATEVER!

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Top 15 Ways to Annoy Your Math Teacher:

15. 2 words... universal remote

14. On the first day start singing the song that goes... 0 is a hero, 1 is the worst, 2 is the best, 3 is the one with the hairy chest (then insist that your teacher is equal to 3)

13. Bring a remote to school, point it at your teacher and yell, "This Show Sucks!"

12. randomly shout out phrases like, "I Don't Get It!", or "The World Makes Sense!"

11.Tell your teacher your stuggling with a problem, and when he asks to see it show him a paper that reads, "2+2"

10. Randomly shout out incorrect multiplication problems.

9. Write research paper in which you attempt to find the value of the "variables" in your name.

8. Volunteer to grease your teachers donkey for half price ^_^

7. Give the philosophical answer.

6. Homework in essay form

5. Find reassurance from your classmates and teacher that, indeed, 3 is the magic number.

4. Get one right, do a shot.

3. Instead of handing in your test, hand in tax forms. Hope to get them back with mistakes corrected.

2. Cover face and pretend to laugh whenever somebody says six.

1. Change name to pi.

Submited by Kelly J.
Edited by Sam P.

Top 13 Good Things about Gym Class

13. playing games made up by teachers to keep us busy a.k.a. Speedaway

12. faking injuries that only last for one period.

11. DOTS

10. Not washing your gym clothes is a bonus in contact sports.

9. You can do deep knee bends and squat thrust without looking really super gay.

8. How many people think they're cleaver for calling some one who's wearing loners, a "loner".

7. One swirlie and your refreshed for the whole day.

6. It's the only class you can pass by doing sit-ups.

5. That schmorgousboard thingy kicks monster hiney.

4. When somebody gets hurt, you can laugh at them.

3. Mild concussions induced by dodgeballs bouncing off your head can help you remember your homework assignments.

2. NO HOMEWORK. he he he.....

1. No matter what, you can still fantasize about being in the girls/guys locker room.

Submited by Kelly J.
Edited by Sam P.

Things to do in an elevator. NEW!

1) When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

2) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

3) Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.

4) Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.

5) Hold the doors open and say your saiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"

6) Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"

7) Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

8) Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an apointment.

9) Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.

10) Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.

11) Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

12) Ask, "Did you feel that?"

13) Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

14) When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"

15) Swat at flies that don't exist.

16) Tell people that you can see their aura.

17) Call out, "Group Hig!"and then enforce it.

18) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"

19) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"

20) Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

21) Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

22) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers. 23) Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

24) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

25) Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".

26) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passnegers, "This is MY personal space!"

Submited by Katie Beyer

Not quite an IQ test

1.What 2 crazy dudes went back in time and kiddnapped many famouse historical figures?

2.What is the openig line to the weezer song gechoo?

3.Name five adam sandler movies.

4.Which fun loving charachter of the simpsons contantly has his finger up his nose,and is the son of officer wiggum?

5.What is the name of the chicken brak ikddnapped from a rival highschool?

6.What three modonna songs made top 20 most contrivercial music videos of mtv?

7.What was the name of the brand whose commercials starred a fun loving dog puppet?

8.On the classic game show, lets make a deal,out of the final rounds 3 certains, which was chosen first most offen?

9.What does the f-u-n stand for in spongebobs the fun song?

10.In the new season of south park,who is new in the gang supposedly replacing kenny?

11.Who is the creater of ''garfeild the cat''?

12.What is the name of zims arch enemy?

13.How many times did the charachter jan (bradey bunch) actually say ''marsha,marsha,marsha!''on the original series?

14.On futurama,what is the name of the rude alchoholic robot?

15.Who sings the theme song to as told by ginger?

16.Name 5 jakie chan movies.

17.What tv show is on cartoon network 1:30am sunday morning?

18.Name six green vegtables.

19.In austin powers,what is the name of dr. evils cat?

20.Name 2 james bond girls with the word ''pussy'' in it?

Answers
1.Bill & Ted
2.Holy cow i think i got one here!
3.The wedding singer,mr.deeds,the water boy,billy madison,big daddy,little nikki,happy gillmore,ect.
4.Ralph wiggum
5.Mr.Bawkbigawk
6.That it feels like
4 A girl,like a prayer,justify my love
7.Pets.com(because pets cant drive)
8.Certain #2 9.f=friends or frolic,u=you or eukilaili,n=anywhere or nose
10.Tweek
11.Jim davis
12.Dib
13.Once-(although exagerated in the movies)
14.Bender
15.Gacey gray
16.Shanghi noon,mr.nice guy,first strike,rush hour,rumble in the bronx,legened of drunken master,rush hour 2
17.Piolet cadidate
18.As long as theyre green vegys...i think youll know
19.Mr.bigglesworth
20.Octopussy & Pussy Galor

Scoring
16-20~~~~Very good.............you cheater!
11-15~~~~Your a bit of alright!!!
6-10~~~~~Cool man!
5 & under~~~youre average. Not a geek in anyway.youre boring. Please leave now.
Submited by Kelly Mohoney

Top 10 things youll never see on scooby-doo where are you

10.a real ghost

9.scooby pronounce something correctly

8.a perfectly thought out plan

7.a punk rocker

6.freddie seem cool

5.daphney with a nose ring

4.theme song sung by drowning pool

3.a second season episode with no chase scene

2.shaggy being drafted

1.shaggy with a haircut
Submited by Kelly Mohoney

You watch too much Speed Racer when...

10 you begin noticing when Speed hits a wrong button on the steering column. (of course this also means you know what all the buttons actually do...)

09 You watch old James Bond movies and look for agent nine from Interpol.

08 you name your Apple computer the "Mac 5" and think it's witty (ummm...my computer name? hehe why do you ask?)

07 you learn to drive a stick shift, just because Speed Racer does.

06 you still find it surprisingly charming when Spridle and Chim-Chim stow away in the trunk of the Mach 5.

05 you know the whole Speed Racer theme song by heart, and are willing to demonstrate that fact at any oppurtunity.

04 you experience classic withdrawal symptoms after going half a day without Speed Racer in any form.

03 You judge your standards of what a "real" man is by Speed Racer's standards. (or base your definition of a "real" woman by Trixie's.)

02 you think red socks go great with white bell-bottoms and a blue shirt with a red kercheif.

01 And if you actually read up to this point-you're hopless! Warning! If you fit more than half of these criterium, you should see a specialist immediately! Either that or just watch more Speed Racer! A twelve hour marathon should be sufficient to get you completely hooked. No sense doing things half way, and noone likes a fence sitter!
Submitted by ME

Ten things you will never see on Speed Racer...
10 The Mach Five's trunk locked

09 The Mach Five having a lock on the trunk

08 The Mach Five receiving dents and cracks

07 Speed Racer beating up Racer X

06 The Laundry room at the Racer Home

05 Where Trixie and Sparky live

04 Speed Racer getting wounded and staying that way for more than five minutes

03 An Acme safe dropping on Captain Terror

02 The deflector shield up during the rain.

01 A cohesive plot with no gaps whatsoever!!!
ME again

Ten things you will never hear on Speed Racer

10 Speed: "It's just another race...."

09 Sprytle: "I'm swearing off candy, chim chim and I have too many cavities"

08 Chim Chim: "The theory of particle acceleration is as follows..."

07 Moms: "Speed, be a dear and go shopping for me...."

06 Trixie: "I've decided that we should start dating other people Speed...."

05 Sparky:"...I can't fix this in time Speed, you'll have to forfeit the race."

04 Inspector Detector:"Speed, I'm going to nominate you for "Jr. Detective" Now go away and let us adults work."

03 Captain Terror:"Speed, the best man won!"

02 Racer X:"I'm the Candyman!"

01 Racer X: "Yes, Speed. I am your older brother Rex that ran away from home all those years ago...and no, I don'thave to kill you now.
ME ME ME

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(as of 9/23/03)